January 23, 2009

What I Should Be Doing...

I should be giving birth to my second child today, but instead I sit here at work trying to fight back the tears of what could have been. To make matters worse I thought for sure I was pregnant again, but God decided to show me otherwise today...of all days and 8 days late at that. I am no longer able to hold the tears back. Let them fall Jesus, let them fall. On top of that I had to tell Casey what today should have been (as I was crying in the bathroom), that really hurt my feelings, shouldn't he have remembered? Probably not, but that is just the day that I am having and it's only 7:42am. Please pray that I would have a better attitude today, it's just really hard!
Why did I wear makeup?

11 comments:

Ali said...

Oh jess, I'm so sorry. I don't even know the pain your feeling. I'll be praying for comfort. God is in control! Love ya girl!

Christi said...

I'm so sorry hun. I hope your day starts to look brighter. Let the tears flow-that helps the healing :)

nichole said...

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this today, and I don't think you are having a bad attitude, your just having a hard time and we want our men to remember those things(but they never do). Rest in Him.

nichole said...

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this today, and I don't think you are having a bad attitude, your just having a hard time and we want our men to remember those things(but they never do). Rest in Him.

Anonymous said...

i'm so sorry jess. i know exactly what you are going through. i've been through it twice and although it doesn't bring much comfort right now-it does get easier. i always hated hearing that. grieve how you need to grieve and be hopeful for the future. bek

megan k said...

You wore make-up so that when the tears cease for a moment, you can reapply it as if saying, "Ok, I will attempt this day." Once it's reapplied, you will feel a sense of accomplishment if even for a moment. IF and when the tears return, oh well, you can always reapply.

Hugs and kisses

graynation said...

sweet girl, I am so sorry to hear about this day, the tears are needed because you are human and that is what we do :( I love you tonz and will continue to pray that God will create the most precious little baby in your body, when he has it planned. Just sit back and let God do what he has planned, because we all know, that He knows best, even when we dont understand. God has lost his ONLY child, and he knows what it feels like. love you.

Jessica said...

You all are awesome! Thanks so much for loving on me. I have amazing friends!

Nicole Knox said...

Jessica, I am praying for you right now.

Lindsay said...

Jessica, I have faith that B's baby brother or sister will come when the time is right. I wish I could ask God why anyone would have to go through what you have been through because I cannot make sense of it myself. You are very deserving of another healthy baby and I admire the love and care you put into parenting Briley. You do have the strength to make it through and I hope you and your husband can find some time to lean on and support each other. Much love and God's blessings to you and your family. I know things will look up and I know you will hold another beautiful baby someday.

Love, Linds

Jennifer said...

I don't know you. I just happened upon your blog b/c Megan said you were creative. I am sorry you have a broken heart today, but don't let Satan break your spirit. It looks like although you are going thru a rough day, that you are blessed immeasurably with a great husband, cute as can be little girl, and friends who love you and love the Lord. Even though of course it's okay to be sad, grieve, zzzzzzzand cry to the Lord, don't let the day go by wasted without thanking God for lavishing his blessing upon you in a huge way. You are blessed, girl!

Your sister in Christ will pray for you today!